Gender Equality – Which are the Behavioural / Cultural Traits which hold Back North West India? The Kapila Gender Sensitivity Test.
By DINESH K KAPILA
(On the Occasion of Women's Day - still working on it)
North West India has some of the worst affected districts in the country as regards female foeticide and ranks quite low on female nutrition rates and other gender related issues. The Gender Equality Indices rank North West India uniformly low. Economists are of the view that this would ultimately impact adversely the socio economic development of the region quite seriously. But what does an average person in the towns and rural areas of North West India perceive to be gender related behaviour – how does he or she know which attitude or cultural trait is correct or wrong or needs to be rectified. Secondly, even the well to do segments of society in North West India are observed to mostly exhibit the syndrome of feudalism (Some call it the kakaji syndrome) and related to it a bias against women. A discussion on women foeticide or equality or change in mindset at times turns into a discussion, sometimes heated, that next property rights and a share in property would be asked for by women. Sadly women themselves seem to accept the status quo, often because they do not have a holistic perception of their individual attitudes and their actual impact or are resigned to the prevailing norms. An example would suffice, at a largish village, women members of Self Help Groups told me that the menfolk would often celebrate the birthday of a male child by distributing sweets and snacks but for a girl child, the paying of obeisance at the gurudwara was enough. This triggered off in me the identification of such behavioural traits as more often than not, they impact the responses and cultural reflexes of the child. Gradually, it was observed that the urban centres often exhibited the same syndrome, only the veneer of sophistry had to be ripped off.
Based on observations and insights gleaned from discussions from such discussions, as also my own observations of various families during my journeys, I developed - The Kapila Gender Sensitivity Test (pardon the immodesty !) - the objective is to enable the administration of the test independently and to decide / identify where an individual stands in the context of gender sensitivity. The questions are so designed as to awaken us to the traits we exhibit or camouflage or seek to downplay, we then would be questioning ourselves. The twenty five questions as below are to be attempted honestly and then the scoring key accessed for knowing the rating and then analyzing your own self.
(Note – Testing of the sample by me at two seminars on gender issues in district Hq towns often provoked angry reactions and mutual accusations with participants often becoming emotional before settling down to accepting the need for change. If administered in a group for provoking reactions, careful handling is thus required. Second Comment – Amongst men, those who had only daughters or only one child who was a daughter were the ones who showed the maximum gender sensitivity at the seminars or wherever I spoke. Last Comment – In my own family reactions were quite mixed to my observations!!).
The Kapila Gender Sensitivty Test - How Gender Sensitised Are You - A Quick Fix Test - (Not Scientifically Validated - But Observation Based, to make you THINK - and RESPOND and ANALYSE your own ATTITUDE / BEHAVIOUR)
(Tick One Response Only)
Sno Question / Observation Response Agree Response Maybe Response Dis- Agree
Q.i Why should boys have all the fun?
2 Girls are entitled to enjoy - giggle loudly, clap, sing - why should they be silent? Correct?
3 Girls can manage with lesser nutrition - they are naturally small eaters. Do you agree?
4 A comment on the birth of a daughter - better luck next time - is it a correct comment?
5 High fees at school, its OK if its for the son, but the daughter can manage with a school charging less fees – what do you say.
6 A daughter is an asset for another house ( have we moved away from this feeling?) What is your feeling?
7 Its raining or misty, I watch regularly the son being dropped to school by car / scooter, the daughter goes to her school by bus or stays back - is it correct attitude. Your response.
8 All this talk of women rights is a conspiracy and will only lead to a demand for a share in land and property - what is your feeling? Do you agree the two issues are one and the same?
9 I as a woman should not ask for a share in property even if the law / parents allow / will it - my relationship with my brother / fathers side of the family etc will be spoilt for good. So I let it go as a woman.
10 I work, I teach, I cook, I manage the house, I do not get tired, maybe the man of the house can make a cup of tea if nothing else? (Should men cook)
11 In society, I am a sister, a bhabhi, a wife, a grahlakshmi, but what am I, what about my name? Is my identity only family relationships etc ! Does this continue to apply to the Indian woman in general?
12 In our culture, men have and will govern, to set the culture, to decide on important issues. Assertion by women will only cause differences and result in social problems. Kindly respond
.
13 Khandaan (Family lineage) counts and we need a male heir to continue it. Now remember the names of your forefather’s upto 5 generations ago accurately? Be honest in the answer. Is it possible to remember accurately.
14 Female foetecide atleast removes any possibility of taunts from elders for the mother and dowry demands for the girl - so I support it (quietly)? Is this often stated in family / friends discussions.
15 The Son (tikka) is sick and so is the daughter, who gets more attention from the parents? Is it the son who gets more pampering or preference normally? In sickness, grandparents often show extra concern for the grandson.
16 Self sacrifice and silent service is the greatest virtue of the Indian woman since ages. This is the ideal to aspire for even today by all women.
17 Technology is an aid for empowerment and not a western tool to spoil our women and us.
18 Credit - the husband knows about investments - what can a lady contribute on this issue? Let the males decide; women just can’t do finance or investments.
19 My salary (if I work as a woman) should be less than my husband; I should give my earnings to my father in law, husband, and mother in law, they know where to spend it best. Small luxuries can be minimized by women, earning or not.
20 Our women are also perpetuating gender inequality - specially the older women or older generation, is it widespread? Do you agree elderly women have often done cultural stereotyping in our society .
21 Should we sensitize women by campaigns and also the males about the need to move to a better gender balance and relations. Are such campaigns required and useful to bring changes?.
22 At any social function its natural for all ladies to gather and work / cook in the kitchen, men can only sit around talking, gossiping, eating, drinking and demanding service.
23 I (father or mother) will atleast teach my son that there is no shame in doing household work or working with one’s hands. Can this be initiated and agreed with.
24 The son needs a scooter / mobike / car as his friends own one, the daughter does not require it as I am saving for her dowry. In any case girls cannot drive around and get unwanted attention. She is better off at home.
25 I will teach the next generation to be more gender sensitised - we have to make a beginning and quickly in the interest & development of our family and society.
Key -
Correct Response – Agree 1, 2, 10,11, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25. - 5 points each.
Correct Response – Disagree – 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, 24. - 5 points each.
Response - Maybe - 2 points on all points.
Response other than above - 0.
Score.
Maximum score possible 125.
Your score 120 and above /125 - Are you for real?
95 to 120 / 125 - Gender sensitized – excellent – now teach others.
75-90 / 125 - average, come on scale up and enlighten yourself.
55-75/ 125 - wake up, start improving fast.
Upto and below 55 - Well, Sorry - you have failed very badly and need to re-educate yourself if a male and if a female, what to say, you are totally brainwashed by negative societal norms. Do consider seeking counseling sessions and knowledge. If a lady, change your thinking and train the family with a positive frame of mind. We need to have good gender relations based on equality. Men, kindly note our further development economically demands improved gender relations and equality.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Author’s Final Note – Elders and many comparatively younger citizens in North West India need to avoid romanticizing older times, a trait often exhibited with wistfulness and older the time period, the better it was on all fronts!! We are to live in the present and need to accept that reduced maternal and infant mortality rates, higher longevity, enhanced incomes, improved self confidence in our society and children are a reality of modern India and that this was certainly at far lower levels earlier. Such citizens need to be positive minded in outlook. Secondly, no aspersions or criticism is meant for any particular segment / community / culture except for gender insensitive men and women! ).
DINESH K KAPILA is a developmental banker and takes a keen interest in issues of gender, micro credit etc.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By DINESH K KAPILA
(On the Occasion of Women's Day - still working on it)
North West India has some of the worst affected districts in the country as regards female foeticide and ranks quite low on female nutrition rates and other gender related issues. The Gender Equality Indices rank North West India uniformly low. Economists are of the view that this would ultimately impact adversely the socio economic development of the region quite seriously. But what does an average person in the towns and rural areas of North West India perceive to be gender related behaviour – how does he or she know which attitude or cultural trait is correct or wrong or needs to be rectified. Secondly, even the well to do segments of society in North West India are observed to mostly exhibit the syndrome of feudalism (Some call it the kakaji syndrome) and related to it a bias against women. A discussion on women foeticide or equality or change in mindset at times turns into a discussion, sometimes heated, that next property rights and a share in property would be asked for by women. Sadly women themselves seem to accept the status quo, often because they do not have a holistic perception of their individual attitudes and their actual impact or are resigned to the prevailing norms. An example would suffice, at a largish village, women members of Self Help Groups told me that the menfolk would often celebrate the birthday of a male child by distributing sweets and snacks but for a girl child, the paying of obeisance at the gurudwara was enough. This triggered off in me the identification of such behavioural traits as more often than not, they impact the responses and cultural reflexes of the child. Gradually, it was observed that the urban centres often exhibited the same syndrome, only the veneer of sophistry had to be ripped off.
Based on observations and insights gleaned from discussions from such discussions, as also my own observations of various families during my journeys, I developed - The Kapila Gender Sensitivity Test (pardon the immodesty !) - the objective is to enable the administration of the test independently and to decide / identify where an individual stands in the context of gender sensitivity. The questions are so designed as to awaken us to the traits we exhibit or camouflage or seek to downplay, we then would be questioning ourselves. The twenty five questions as below are to be attempted honestly and then the scoring key accessed for knowing the rating and then analyzing your own self.
(Note – Testing of the sample by me at two seminars on gender issues in district Hq towns often provoked angry reactions and mutual accusations with participants often becoming emotional before settling down to accepting the need for change. If administered in a group for provoking reactions, careful handling is thus required. Second Comment – Amongst men, those who had only daughters or only one child who was a daughter were the ones who showed the maximum gender sensitivity at the seminars or wherever I spoke. Last Comment – In my own family reactions were quite mixed to my observations!!).
The Kapila Gender Sensitivty Test - How Gender Sensitised Are You - A Quick Fix Test - (Not Scientifically Validated - But Observation Based, to make you THINK - and RESPOND and ANALYSE your own ATTITUDE / BEHAVIOUR)
(Tick One Response Only)
Sno Question / Observation Response Agree Response Maybe Response Dis- Agree
Q.i Why should boys have all the fun?
2 Girls are entitled to enjoy - giggle loudly, clap, sing - why should they be silent? Correct?
3 Girls can manage with lesser nutrition - they are naturally small eaters. Do you agree?
4 A comment on the birth of a daughter - better luck next time - is it a correct comment?
5 High fees at school, its OK if its for the son, but the daughter can manage with a school charging less fees – what do you say.
6 A daughter is an asset for another house ( have we moved away from this feeling?) What is your feeling?
7 Its raining or misty, I watch regularly the son being dropped to school by car / scooter, the daughter goes to her school by bus or stays back - is it correct attitude. Your response.
8 All this talk of women rights is a conspiracy and will only lead to a demand for a share in land and property - what is your feeling? Do you agree the two issues are one and the same?
9 I as a woman should not ask for a share in property even if the law / parents allow / will it - my relationship with my brother / fathers side of the family etc will be spoilt for good. So I let it go as a woman.
10 I work, I teach, I cook, I manage the house, I do not get tired, maybe the man of the house can make a cup of tea if nothing else? (Should men cook)
11 In society, I am a sister, a bhabhi, a wife, a grahlakshmi, but what am I, what about my name? Is my identity only family relationships etc ! Does this continue to apply to the Indian woman in general?
12 In our culture, men have and will govern, to set the culture, to decide on important issues. Assertion by women will only cause differences and result in social problems. Kindly respond
.
13 Khandaan (Family lineage) counts and we need a male heir to continue it. Now remember the names of your forefather’s upto 5 generations ago accurately? Be honest in the answer. Is it possible to remember accurately.
14 Female foetecide atleast removes any possibility of taunts from elders for the mother and dowry demands for the girl - so I support it (quietly)? Is this often stated in family / friends discussions.
15 The Son (tikka) is sick and so is the daughter, who gets more attention from the parents? Is it the son who gets more pampering or preference normally? In sickness, grandparents often show extra concern for the grandson.
16 Self sacrifice and silent service is the greatest virtue of the Indian woman since ages. This is the ideal to aspire for even today by all women.
17 Technology is an aid for empowerment and not a western tool to spoil our women and us.
18 Credit - the husband knows about investments - what can a lady contribute on this issue? Let the males decide; women just can’t do finance or investments.
19 My salary (if I work as a woman) should be less than my husband; I should give my earnings to my father in law, husband, and mother in law, they know where to spend it best. Small luxuries can be minimized by women, earning or not.
20 Our women are also perpetuating gender inequality - specially the older women or older generation, is it widespread? Do you agree elderly women have often done cultural stereotyping in our society .
21 Should we sensitize women by campaigns and also the males about the need to move to a better gender balance and relations. Are such campaigns required and useful to bring changes?.
22 At any social function its natural for all ladies to gather and work / cook in the kitchen, men can only sit around talking, gossiping, eating, drinking and demanding service.
23 I (father or mother) will atleast teach my son that there is no shame in doing household work or working with one’s hands. Can this be initiated and agreed with.
24 The son needs a scooter / mobike / car as his friends own one, the daughter does not require it as I am saving for her dowry. In any case girls cannot drive around and get unwanted attention. She is better off at home.
25 I will teach the next generation to be more gender sensitised - we have to make a beginning and quickly in the interest & development of our family and society.
Key -
Correct Response – Agree 1, 2, 10,11, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25. - 5 points each.
Correct Response – Disagree – 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, 24. - 5 points each.
Response - Maybe - 2 points on all points.
Response other than above - 0.
Score.
Maximum score possible 125.
Your score 120 and above /125 - Are you for real?
95 to 120 / 125 - Gender sensitized – excellent – now teach others.
75-90 / 125 - average, come on scale up and enlighten yourself.
55-75/ 125 - wake up, start improving fast.
Upto and below 55 - Well, Sorry - you have failed very badly and need to re-educate yourself if a male and if a female, what to say, you are totally brainwashed by negative societal norms. Do consider seeking counseling sessions and knowledge. If a lady, change your thinking and train the family with a positive frame of mind. We need to have good gender relations based on equality. Men, kindly note our further development economically demands improved gender relations and equality.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Author’s Final Note – Elders and many comparatively younger citizens in North West India need to avoid romanticizing older times, a trait often exhibited with wistfulness and older the time period, the better it was on all fronts!! We are to live in the present and need to accept that reduced maternal and infant mortality rates, higher longevity, enhanced incomes, improved self confidence in our society and children are a reality of modern India and that this was certainly at far lower levels earlier. Such citizens need to be positive minded in outlook. Secondly, no aspersions or criticism is meant for any particular segment / community / culture except for gender insensitive men and women! ).
DINESH K KAPILA is a developmental banker and takes a keen interest in issues of gender, micro credit etc.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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