DK Kapila The Oracle

The Punjabi Gabroo This word “Gabroo” has been used endlessly in Punjabi songs. It is taken to mean youthful or young with masculinity inherent in it. This does capture the spirit of Punjab in it. But then we do have another meaning, or atleast I have; I would also define “Gabroo” as vain as a peacock, feudalistic in attitude with women treated as secondary, at best showpieces to compliment his vanity. I could be defined as machismo gone over board. Generations of mothers in Punjab with the active connivance of fathers have resulted in the son being lionized and pampered to absurd levels. The end result is in an acute social imbalance and the gender ratio getting skewed. The cultural norms are so ingrained and the paternalism concept so entrenched that the typical Punjabi women would look askance even if I was to discuss a contrasting viewpoint. Though it cuts across social and economic classes, I can relate a poor woman’s woes. She lost her son in in his infancy, she does not fee...

The prejudices we come to know about ! And Live with at times. A neighbour and I were chilling over a beer yesterday . He told me that he had a hectic few days as his niece had to be found a hostel with strict supervision. Recently admitted to a reputed college, the hostel was the main concern. I asked him this definition of strict as far as the hostel meant. Now is the version which kills. He said he had found reasonable paying guest accommodation but some other relatives managed to convince his close relative that girls took to ahem ~ lesbian relationships by staying in paying guest accommodations. Hence strict hostels. He and I pondered, took it as an excuse to pour another glass, express our concern about such prejudices and moved on. I wonder what lakhs and lakhs of girls all across our nation, who are constrained to stay in paying guest accommodation to pursue higher education, would say to this. It's sad and disturbing that some (I am sure a minority) educated people can ...

If anything at times bugs me, it's an over emphasis on spiritualism or religion by some individuals. I pray myself, am deeply conscious about matters spiritual but treat it as my personal affair. I just cannot stand anyone posing to be superior and handing out unsolicited advise with an air of smugness (add the smile) just because he is always taking His/ Her Name and making a show of it. I simply feel if someone prays five times a day or runs to his place of worship at 5 am in the morning and cleans it up, fine, but better than the others, certainly not. It's certainly their life and right but does not elevate them and in case religion or spirituality goes much beyond such external manifestations.  We had a colleague at Shimla, some would know him as the follower of a Saint (namesake of another in Maharashtra) leading a huge centre near Bangalore (not Art of Living) . Now if he came late to office or after a prolonged absence, before the pulling up would begin, out would come...

It's The Foundation Day of NABARD. Over the years I or some colleagues I know have done crazy things~ with due apologies to Sh  Raghbir  Singh I share two such episodes. We were in a remote watershed ~ both of us with a group ~ somewhere near Varanasi. The day had been long and hot in a rocky area. We were on our way back but we could make out a couple of local youth wanted to interact more. The two of us stopped. It started in Hindi and then suddenly the quieter guy launched most vociferously into the discussion in the local dialect. It was all incomprehensible and totally impossible to understand. I did not have the heart or stamina so late in the day to ask him to stop or ask his friends to translate. But Raghbir, he was all ears, leaning forward, encouraging him and saying 'well done', 'bahut acha' "shabash' and at times ' theek kiya'. The young man, encouraged by such gestures, would just carry on. I was puzzled as to how he knew the l...