The Punjabi Gabroo
This word “Gabroo” has been used endlessly in Punjabi songs. It is taken to mean youthful or young with masculinity inherent in it. This does capture the spirit of Punjab in it. But then we do have another meaning, or atleast I have; I would also define “Gabroo” as vain as a peacock, feudalistic in attitude with women treated as secondary, at best showpieces to compliment his vanity. I could be defined as machismo gone over board. Generations of mothers in Punjab with the active connivance of fathers have resulted in the son being lionized and pampered to absurd levels. The end result is in an acute social imbalance and the gender ratio getting skewed. The cultural norms are so ingrained and the paternalism concept so entrenched that the typical Punjabi women would look askance even if I was to discuss a contrasting viewpoint. Though it cuts across social and economic classes, I can relate a poor woman’s woes. She lost her son in in his infancy, she does not feel sad about her economic condition but keeps saying why her son had to die, this in the presence of her girls aged around 10 years to 12 years.
The songs glorifying the Gabroo hide a sad truth. The feudal attitudes within Punjab have only been entrenched of late. It’s the result of religion used as a shield to keep women conforming to certain norms as defined by men or cultural attitudes being just too entrenched and unable to evolve. Has anyone wondered why hardly any woman athlete of note has come from Punjab. The rare exceptions are there in business or entrepreneurship or sports but overall it remains a feudal orientation. Considering our prosperity, we are well below our potential on this and maybe the State would perform better if the attitude as on display by our “Gabroos” would be somewhat restrained.
The Gabroo expects to women to only lionize him and wait on him. Outside the house he could be a skirt chaser or have multiple girlfriends or show of his masculine identity in various groups. At home he is a lord, to be waited on and has the wrath of a thousand suns if his sister was as much as to glance at a man. In some households even some physical discipline for sisters is whispered about quietly. The Gabroo cannot even notice the contradiction in his own behavior. The house revolves around him and his cultural norms. The father’s chest swelling with pride at the strut of his Gabroo and his steed (mobike going upto expensive cars) and the mother is either helpless or supportive. After all boys will be boys. And education,maybe the State would gain if the Gabroos were to study more, as any number of studies indicate, our educational orientation is low.
The opinion makers have been often taking pride in praising the Gabroo, the implication could be not to disturb the vote banks or it’s a cynical demonstration of catering to the lowest common denominator. This makes the Gabroo only strut more and be more of a vain peacock ! I have met female school principals looking for guidance from their husbands within the school premises. The inherent feudal attitudes are not changing for the better and the glorification of the Gabroo is one of the barriers. Violence in campuses of schools and colleges is but another symptom of the Gabroo on the loose, knowing his parents are nonchalant, especially the father.
I am not saying all are the same in our society. But the ones who support their daughters or rein in their son’s instincts to evolve as Gabroo – social pressure or what – find themselves often uncomfortable with the contrast with the prevalent norms. The families find their own path but I often hear this as a concern in finding a suitable or compatible matrimonial match.
The issue is not rural or urban, as it is often made out to be. I have met plenty of farmers supportive of their daughters and their ambitions. It’s cultural and is defined by the norms a family would like to aspire to and adopt. That is the crux of the matter.
As a first step maybe priests could just say may you be blessed with talented children rather than may you be blessed with sons. And a stress on less ostentatious weddings and dowry would help. Atleast within my own community I would welcome some misguided ladies stopping the aaarti (literally worship) of the prospective son in law when he arrives for the wedding. If the girl needs a husband, the Gabroo needs a wife too !
There are several positives in our society but this Gabroofication has to be reduced. It has it’s positive elements but the negatives are outweighing it.
This word “Gabroo” has been used endlessly in Punjabi songs. It is taken to mean youthful or young with masculinity inherent in it. This does capture the spirit of Punjab in it. But then we do have another meaning, or atleast I have; I would also define “Gabroo” as vain as a peacock, feudalistic in attitude with women treated as secondary, at best showpieces to compliment his vanity. I could be defined as machismo gone over board. Generations of mothers in Punjab with the active connivance of fathers have resulted in the son being lionized and pampered to absurd levels. The end result is in an acute social imbalance and the gender ratio getting skewed. The cultural norms are so ingrained and the paternalism concept so entrenched that the typical Punjabi women would look askance even if I was to discuss a contrasting viewpoint. Though it cuts across social and economic classes, I can relate a poor woman’s woes. She lost her son in in his infancy, she does not feel sad about her economic condition but keeps saying why her son had to die, this in the presence of her girls aged around 10 years to 12 years.
The songs glorifying the Gabroo hide a sad truth. The feudal attitudes within Punjab have only been entrenched of late. It’s the result of religion used as a shield to keep women conforming to certain norms as defined by men or cultural attitudes being just too entrenched and unable to evolve. Has anyone wondered why hardly any woman athlete of note has come from Punjab. The rare exceptions are there in business or entrepreneurship or sports but overall it remains a feudal orientation. Considering our prosperity, we are well below our potential on this and maybe the State would perform better if the attitude as on display by our “Gabroos” would be somewhat restrained.
The Gabroo expects to women to only lionize him and wait on him. Outside the house he could be a skirt chaser or have multiple girlfriends or show of his masculine identity in various groups. At home he is a lord, to be waited on and has the wrath of a thousand suns if his sister was as much as to glance at a man. In some households even some physical discipline for sisters is whispered about quietly. The Gabroo cannot even notice the contradiction in his own behavior. The house revolves around him and his cultural norms. The father’s chest swelling with pride at the strut of his Gabroo and his steed (mobike going upto expensive cars) and the mother is either helpless or supportive. After all boys will be boys. And education,maybe the State would gain if the Gabroos were to study more, as any number of studies indicate, our educational orientation is low.
The opinion makers have been often taking pride in praising the Gabroo, the implication could be not to disturb the vote banks or it’s a cynical demonstration of catering to the lowest common denominator. This makes the Gabroo only strut more and be more of a vain peacock ! I have met female school principals looking for guidance from their husbands within the school premises. The inherent feudal attitudes are not changing for the better and the glorification of the Gabroo is one of the barriers. Violence in campuses of schools and colleges is but another symptom of the Gabroo on the loose, knowing his parents are nonchalant, especially the father.
I am not saying all are the same in our society. But the ones who support their daughters or rein in their son’s instincts to evolve as Gabroo – social pressure or what – find themselves often uncomfortable with the contrast with the prevalent norms. The families find their own path but I often hear this as a concern in finding a suitable or compatible matrimonial match.
The issue is not rural or urban, as it is often made out to be. I have met plenty of farmers supportive of their daughters and their ambitions. It’s cultural and is defined by the norms a family would like to aspire to and adopt. That is the crux of the matter.
As a first step maybe priests could just say may you be blessed with talented children rather than may you be blessed with sons. And a stress on less ostentatious weddings and dowry would help. Atleast within my own community I would welcome some misguided ladies stopping the aaarti (literally worship) of the prospective son in law when he arrives for the wedding. If the girl needs a husband, the Gabroo needs a wife too !
There are several positives in our society but this Gabroofication has to be reduced. It has it’s positive elements but the negatives are outweighing it.
Quite right to some extent. In fact most of the songs celebrate about gabroo men drinking alcohol, chasing women to the extent of harassing them. People dance to such songs proudly
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