Overburdened and Troubled - Do Look Within

Overburdened and Troubled – Do Look Within.

                                                            Dinesh K Kapila

Life can be strange, even troubling. It anyway never did come with a promise of assurance and positivity only. As we go along life’s pathways, as the years pass by and convey different shades and meanings, we need at times to sit back and just ruminate. Life, as many have realized, or are in the process of realizing and accepting, is just a process.  Emotions and happenings, joy and sadness, the ups and downs are always there. Lucky are those who have a certain consistency or a narrow and straight path to tread, luckier if they did don the thinking cap, for that itself imparts a certain calmness and assurance.

But many tend to think, or assess. The individuals who over think will always remain on the edge of emotions, they have to go the extra mile to attain the spirit of calmness. But even the normal sane individual thinks, assesses, wonders, at times or frequently. Those who tend to do it frequently, may only suffer more !. There are myriad issues to trouble a person, as I look around. Careers gone awry, organisations failing their employees, whether knowingly or unknowingly, these can be highly emotive and impact the affected employees. Compulsions keep many within the same organization but then the throttling of emotions can be a strong negative. A close second would be family relationships gone sour or financial problems, these can destroy families and have an impact into the next generation.  Cheating in business or by friends, deaths, injuries, souring of investments, it’s just endless.

I know of people with immense wealth, all done diligently, and honestly, but still deeply in regret after decades of where did the career go wrong.  Then are those who make a good name but regret a land deal gone wrong or passing up a good investment opportunity. Children not settled, children not that well settled, children well settled but not in touch, business out of sync with changing times, illnesses eating away budgets, the list could go on.  There are no answers to such questions. There never will be.  But should we carry them along life’s pathways, with the emotions locked within. How do we overcome this, that which plays on your subconscious and ultimately impacts the mind and you’re your health.  For when the pluses and minuses are to be taken up, let the happiness factor dominate. There could be a contradiction here, in that, is life to be taken in a neutral manner. Then we would be emotionless, maybe for a saint it is ideal but the average Joe could live out his life with a certain degree of happiness. Which would radiate happiness to his family and those beyond them.

Sad and disturbed are those who believe they have a point to prove to the world. This is the worst emotion. Nobody is bothered, except for a while, that too maybe. Prove to yourself, within limits. That is the point. And never let your family develop a siege mentality, that the world is somehow against them. There will be cheats, the conspirator, the office politician, but not all. That is the essence. A siege mentality affects the entire family. It’s the worst sin.  Recognise also that rewards will not flow according to inputs always. There are multiple factors and forces at play always. This is one pathway to calmness. Be dispassionate, or try to be, being sentimental is a primary force from within but attempt to be collected and composed. A person prone to being overly sentimental mostly suffers within. By attempting to be level headed, a state of being tranquil may still be elusive but being mostly self possessed is in itself calming.  Maybe it’s not out of place to suggest, even if you want to take on the main instigator of office politics for example, let it be done as calmly as possible. Do not suffer within. Find your peace.

The one thing I can say is first look within. It’s always a process. It may come naturally, or may need to evolve over a period of time. But work on it. This itself imparts some peace. The solutions are many to find peace. Reading, writing, music, sport, walking and emptying the mind, meeting friends for discussions, all tend to change the thought process. It could be reading what you like and never ever  taking up something an individual finds boring, too serious or unable to absorb. Once I sat in an ashram, a famous one, truthfully I nodded off and could barely prevent myself from falling off. The discourse was beyond me ! An expensive drink sipped at leisure, a good chat, a silent prayer and a can do attitude can also work wonders equally. To each his own route to inner peace, be it playing golf, playing bridge, spending time at a temple or bonding. Do what comes naturally, and go along with the flow. And break up toxic relationships, free yourself. This is the one sure thing an individual is entitled to after a sincere, honest work day and during he process of a life well lived; a calm period of leisure, a safe harbor, of calmness and cheer.  Once this evolves, the pathways to inner happiness open up.

And a safe country. It’s a prerequisite for peace. I can understand the problems in the quest for peace in Iraq, Syria, Libya, Argentina and Somalia and such nations, fighting within or in a financial crisis. Even here, across all classes we will find individuals and families at peace.  But overall an external atmosphere of peace helps, it’s always an enabler. The European countryside beguiles us by it’s appeal to our inner perception of peace as do our very own off the track countryside spots. Our nation is at peace but highly competitive, we have to find that peace, which even if what is perceived to be outside is actually to reside within us.  

But what do we seek. There is a tale, an old one.  There was an educated middle class man, in financial difficulties, every day he cursed his life. He was deeply unhappy.  His family was equally unhappy, believing the world was against them. Even in his prayers the man cursed and sought a solution. Peace, happiness, calmness all eluded him. One day he had a dream, a dream or a vision, God told him to go to a Sadhu (monk) outside the city and sitting under a tree and he would give him a diamond.  The man rushed out at dawn, finally locating the sadhu around mid day, he rushed towards him shouting incoherently, diamond, diamond.  Initially the sadhu was a little irritated at being disturbed while meditating but once he understood, he reached within his sack and took out a huge unpolished diamond. He said he found it a few days ago in a rocky area. He then quietly handed it over and went back to his meditation. The diamond was huge. It assured wealth. The whole night the man sat quietly, not even telling his family. Then early next morning he sought out the same sadhu again. The sadhu was surprised and said, I have nothing more to give. The man bowed deeply, and said, you have something more. Take the diamond back if you will but give me that calmness with which you just handed over the huge diamond. Now what was he really seeking. Within him a calm harbor.

To be realistic, you have to look without and within in the quest for peace. Looking purely within is for the saints. And forget the philosophical mumbo jumbo unless you can understand it. As life starts out, invest wisely and keep at it. Insure yourself till it is required. Wealth, whatever the quantum, will always impart stability and security. Within and without. Then work on your health and fitness always. Focus on it.  Meditate, if you can. Pray, be spiritual. Bond happily with your family and friends. Be committed at work. Be ambitious. Seek opportunities. And after that let life happen as it occurs.

I would again emphasise, don’t go to drink too deeply from spirituality unless so inclined and driven from within. Live in the real world, where we are meant to be. You may be an engineer, a banker, a bureaucrat, a policeman, a retailer, an industrialist, maybe a priest but you are not a saint or meant to be one. Work and live with peace, that is all.     

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