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Home

                                                    Dinesh K Kapila

What is Home, People often say I am going home. It resonates within all of us. Is it the property you own, which you can sell if required. Is it the place you reside with your family. Where you centre all your activities, be it cultural, educational, domestic etc.

Or is the meaning much deeper, somewhere where you find security. Your zone of comfort so to say or security, where you find comfort in just being you. Or is it the place where you build memories to last and provide solace and a degree oh happiness in the tough days or in the times when you cross over to maybe seventy – eighty years or fall ill.

Home is actually within. I could say that. Many do so. Somewhere deep down it is built, your home,  and it stays there, forever. As we grow older, I find when friends discuss home, I silently assess where are they leading, the context and the deeper meaning. It can be both fascinating as mostly in essence it is similar. Somewhere where your parents were around and built a place with love and affection, which then became your castle and refuge. This then permeates to the neighbourhood and all that goes with  it, the friends, warm hearted laughter and old shopkeepers who know you from ages. All this sub consciously gets thrown into the maelstrom within us but then miraculously pops up on some occasions, be they happy or sad. It connects with  mundane activities such as the baking of a cake on a lovely spring day with the aroma wafting in the air, the warm happy aroma stays on in the mind after decades.  Or a song sung on a happy occasion by your mother or a group of close relatives or even a daily chore which somehow stayed with you. We all carry such memories deep within. I can still recollect some memories from the bungalows we occupied in cantonments years ago, moving from pace to place, would they be accurate, I dare say, not surely, but the mind remembers as though it was yesterday.         

At times I discuss home with my Dad. It is something we at times may talk about. His mind travels far back in time on some occasions. We hail from a city called Hoshiarpur in Punjab. This was home for years till Dad retired and settled down at Chandigarh . My Grandfather built his mansion there. Home as we would say. It still resonates somewhat for me as my memories are now mainly at Chandigarh but for my father and logically and obviously the connect is deeper. Once I drove from Jammu to Chandigarh via Hoshiarpur. A colleague accompanied me. We drove in around midnight into Hoshiarpur and it was a silent affair as we drove through the empty roads and streets of the city. I cursorily told my colleague that we hailed from this city and once had our own home here, before post a dark phase for our State, we all of the extended family went our ways.  Little did the colleague know what was going on in my mind, as I drove through. The memories were there and they came alive in my mind again. Happy memories. Of fun and laughter on summer holidays and then staying tucked in during cold foggy nights in winter breaks, if we had gone over from wherever Dad was posted. The mind does maybe colour up such memories in warmer hues, but they are surely comforting.  

As we left the city behind and the tree lined highway opened up, my memories of home were playing in my mind while my brain focused on the driving. As the trees flashed by with the headlights lighting up each tree as we drove by, I was thinking it all looked so familiar. But truthfully, changes were there but the mind remembers only what it connects with and has stored deep inside. Driving late night as it is so very strange and different, there is silence, traffic is lighter, you are enveloped in your own thoughts and each fellow passenger is an island of thoughts into himself. Then memories well up from within. I was thinking all this as we sped away.

When I reached Chandigarh, the next day I told Dad that I drove through Hoshiarpur at night. He was silent, then asked me about which roads I drove on. Then quietly, if I drove by the home, I said yes, it has changed, it was dark and I just drove on. He nodded but left it at that. Who wants the present to intrude on the past on such occasions.  And practically, who knows us now in any case out there. But the mind has its ways of staying familiar and rooted in and I understood where my father was at that time even if he just asked a question or two.        

You have to journey within, as they say to explore life. Similarly, your mind tends to explore within when life takes you down certain routes. Then Home is where it finds refuge and solace, if not happiness. The mind remembers Relief, comfort and love simultaneously in that context and then moves on stronger.

 

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