Be Comfortable with yourself

 Be Comfortable with Yourself

Dinesh Kumar Kapila

This is most important. As an individual, employee, Businessman, entrepreneur or as an organisation. Be comfortable means you know who you are, you know where you stand, you have an absolute clarity about your goals and plans, you know when to stay calm and ride out the tough times, you have the self confidence and maturity to accept yourself and then work on where you want to be. You can lie low when you need to refresh and recharge and rethink and then move on again. Maybe even to accept things as they are at times.

This however eludes many. Thus come the grievances, blame games and even a victim hood syndrome in some. We have to assess ourselves and our goals and achievements and where we want to be. Nobody can do this for us. But escapism by way of not acknowledging your own centrality in the process is a path to waiting it out on the sidelines. This impacts organisations too, some just stagnate or struggle along. Blaming the operating environment or the Government policies only, instead of revisting their product lines or experimenting with innovation. Its certain that some businesses will fail or become irrelevant, but could they have evolved. Much depends upon the leadership, their perspective and vision, anticipation of events and when they decide to evolve and are evolving, then the ability to sell the idea of change while keeping the varied hierarchies comfortable with change.

As an organisation I found Cooperative Banks (Government mandated, not the urban banks) and their staff underplaying themselves in the districts I was assigned in 2002 2006 etc. I found the products limited but that was their ambit. The staff just sat in corners in the meetings of all the banks. It took time to instill that language skills could vary, the scale could vary, the products could vary, but if the cooperative bank was effective in tapping its own base then that was it. Have the self confidence and the perspective about it. It took time but slowly the message seeped in. But you have to have the confidence in your role discharged as an organisation, the awareness about the overall ecosystem and market share etc. This builds up morale and motivation.

Once many years ago I asked my maternal grandfather about the focus of his business on just about one city and nearby areas while at independence it was having multiple branches. He clarified the collapse and rebuilding of the business post partition took considerable time and effort. Then when India became more socialist in orientation and Income tax rates went up and business was looked at with suspicion, he decided to be successful at the scale he was comfortable with. And devote time to philanthropy. And philosophy. and he was satisfied and most comfortable with the way he operated now. He had the wisdom and the knowledge but decided to work within a certain geography only. Within families you have debates on fairness (an obsession in North India) and in the presence of the children. Some suffer for years specially if a sibling is fairer. The strong ones, over a period of time, learn to brush it off and focus on what matters, they ignore the immature observations after a period.

Within offices people can be hamstrung by their self perception about social skills, looks, fashion sense, knowledge or the professional aspects. The wise simply look around, absorb the environment and start adapting by learning and relearning. It takes an effort but they evolve very successfully instead of holding onto their inadequacy. Self confidence, ambition, the ability to adapt and adapt willingly and with a positive attitude is the key. This leads to comfort with what they essentially are, have adapted and the limits around which they remain comfortable.

There is a story. About a crow who was sad about his colour, his being shooed away and being generally treated as a pest. One day all overcome with emotions he was perched upon a tree and deep in self pity. He shed a tear which fell upon a Rishi (holy man) sitting under the tree. Surprised the Rishi called him down and discussed the issue. He said he would change him to whichever bird he liked. The crow wanted to be a swan. Okay said the Rishi but first meet the swan. The crow was reluctant but this being the condition, he approached a swan sitting in a lake. He broached the issue. The Swan was surprised. He told him he was fed up of his long neck and the constant invasion of his privacy by admirers and being hauled off to lakes of cities etc for display. The crow was confused and went off to the Rishi with the Swan. After much discussions the crow decided he wanted to be a peacock. The Rishi had a similar condition and sent both the swan and the crow to meet the Peacock. The peacock had his own thoughts, some pluck my feathers, some even hunt me for meat or the feathers. Are you nuts wanting to be me. Flummoxed they flew to the Rishi. Ultimately it was decided that the parrot was the ideal bird to be, as per the condition, the crow, swan and the peacock went to meet the parrot. The parrot was aghast, farmers dislike me, city dwellers cage me, I am all green and cannot be admired in a dense foliage, what is wrong with all of you. And the birds flew back to the Rishi and stated the crow was now comfortable with himself. He truly was. He was free, was not hunted down and was never caged too.

That is the essence. Think it out. Be firstly comfortable with what you have. Then work on what you want to be. Be conscious of your strength and weakness and what requires focus. Then get to it methodically. Not as a burden. But with clarity. That will be the pathway. Harmonise within yourself and you will harmonise without too.

As an organisation, know yourself and the effectiveness of your role. If that is being overall achieved broadly or being worked towards, then be comfortable with the place within the operating ecosystem. That will percolate to the employees by way of motivation. There are many other factors, but this counts too.

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