The Proposal, The Fossils, The Traditional and The Martinets

 The Proposal, The Fossils, The Traditional and the Martinets. 

Dinesh K Kapila. 

Captain Bharat Bhardwaj, an Indian Army aviation pilot, knelt and proposed to his girlfriend in full uniform against the backdrop of an official military helicopter. And hell broke loose. Where did love figure in all the pontificating on it that followed. Love it was and love it is, this moment in time, just watching the couple so happy made the heart go light.  Grace and love are always so heartwarming. A slap on the wrist to the youngster and let it be, that was all there was to it. If at all. Shelley wrote it so well, “all things by a love divine, in one another’s being mingle, why not I with thine ?”.  The couple are in love. It shows. Capture that moment of time. Bless them with a long happy married life, remember he is in the Forces. Wish them a long happy years. That and may they always be in love.  There is nothing more to it. And should not be. 

The youngster, a young Captain, simply played out a timeless melody of love and romance in his head and heart, a love divine. Yet the traditionalists, the fossils and the martinets had to jump in. Social media  had die hard guys stating it was close to Christianity, why, he knelt on his knee. That is not being a Christian but a somewhat western culture. As far as these elements are concerned, the reaction to them should be what the Pakistani forces labelled the Mukti Bahini in the 1971 war, ‘mosquitoes’, brush them away, that is what they told Dad, who commanded a Brigade in the war there. The socialists who say what if a jawan did it, let it be, there is still something called the elan and spirit of an army officer. 

Fossils protesting could possibly be thinking at our age we cannot bend on one knee, how could he. Most fossils would be retired or close to being retired, the heart has hardened, the knees are stiffer, the brain is full of strategy and tactics and matters of national security, how could such an incident be accepted. A disruption of time and a single minded focus on the huge duty of keeping  the borders secure. Very few fossils would have a young heart. The martinets well, discipline and decorum is everything. Always. As the son of a senior Army Officer, I found all files being cleared by Dad at home were labelled as Classified, Restricted, Confidential, Secret, Top Secret, there was no normal file it seemed. A normal file would I presume cause unease and disquiet. At the minimum it had to be restricted or classified at least.  After all national security. This mindset would naturally view a public demonstration of love as  a total violation of protocol and discipline and norms enforced since times immemorial. Armies have ancient lineages and deep memories. Love at times gets over looked. The parade was over, he was happy, she was happy, they were in love and he proposed, simple. Maybe he heard the sweet notes of love in the call of a Koel in the air, maybe it inspired him as she turned and smiled at him. Honestly, a marriage proposal is the ultimate, vulnerable declaration of love. It shifts a fleeting or romantic romance into a lifelong, legally and emotionally binding relationship. Many do it privately, our young Captain did it publicly. At his being the most vulnerable in it. And succeeded, her response being so sweet and heartfelt. A picture perfect moment. 

These words from a poem I came across sayvall there is there to it so well, “So here I stand, and here I vow, To love you then, as I do now.. I give you all my life to share,To stand beside you, everywhere. My heart is yours, the past and new, So let me spend my life with you. Take my hand, be my forever, Two souls intertwined, now and ever”. 

Some would justify this way of a proposal by alluding to his career and placing his life at stake in the service of the nation. That is going too far out along this route. Smile, tap him on the shoulder if you will and tell him “young man, did you really have to do it this way” and that would say it all. 

By the way, the older we get, the more we value practicality over cinematic romance. We were raised in an era where long-term commitment was measured by a quiet reliability rather than viral social media spectacles. The world evolves, trends change and so must we. In accepting change. Maybe the youngster did not know he was going to make headlines, all he wanted was to convey his love. And commitment. And may he say to his love on their fiftieth anniversary, ‘you still make my heart skip a beat’. Amen to that. 

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