Clueless. Yeah That's Me.
Now I do hope that this piece does not offend anyone, specially of the religious bent of mind. I have always been a rather straightforward guy, sometimes maybe reasonably blind even to subtle undercurrents and messaging practised by many. I have managed by I would say quite happily, though maybe being more clued into cultural messaging would have been better. For me life ideally is meant to be batted through by slogging, with a push and a shove to oneself if required and also to some others who need it. Add to it, read some, discuss some. have a small drink leisurely and listen to music and the days chug along. Not for me, beyond a point, an over analysis of who said what and to whom or why or who married whom or even discussing the deeper meaning of life. I do pray, am proud of my religion and culture but am not prone to diving deep into it for meaning.
But then the better half will always now and then just get exasperated and advise me to keep at it, watch it, keep clued in. I assure, I think I mean it, but then the normal state returns. On it's own. Some time back a neighbour's Jeeves, whom I had known for long and really respected, came over and in an absolutely emotional state, actually he was holding onto tears, said in Hindi, "Mata ji poore ho Gaye", mentally I was racing, deciphering and failing. My being clueless was evident. The poor guy looked at me, quite reasonably expecting a response. Me, I was on the verge of asking for more details when the better half walked in. One look at him and then one up to down scan of me, she asked him straightaway " bhaiya, what happened ". He repeated the statement made to me. I got the answer, " Aunty is no more", let's go over now ". As we walked over, I just had to keep saying, why could he just not say she is no more. Simple, clear and no ambiguity.
Just the other day, Shri VK Bedi, walked in. Now retired as General Manager, I took over from him and therefore sat in the same cabin where he was before. When I moved in , I did not make many changes, there was a what looked like to me a postcard size snap of tribal art under the glass top. I let it be after looking at it curiously. Well I and Mr Bedi exchanged greetings and talked a bit. He had always been a gracious guy and we had got along fine. I asked about his retired life and we chatted. Then he inquired about how much blessed I must feel about being blessed by "Bhagwan Jaganathji". I told him I always counted on the blessings of our Religious Icons and may it always be so. Bediji now stated that's fine but I left a snap of "Bhagwan Jaganathji" for you as I thought you would welcome it. I looked around quickly, after all these months here I knew the layout by heart, then I realised the snap placed below the glass top was of the" Blessed and Revered Jaganathji". Oops. Clueless once again, I decided better to acknowledge this state rather than bluff. Bediji was both amused and taken aback, that his precious gift had not even registered on me, I made amends quickly though. Now here again, if only he had told me then only, straight up !!
In any case I find tangential statements and stating X while aiming for Y can be quite exasperating. I prefer to play along and push it to the point of making the guy state it ! It saves time and efforts. Specially at the office. However the extended personal circle needs careful handling and can be a minefield. Not always but it can be. Rather than risk myself, there I would rather play the dutiful hubby, ever ready to let the better half negotiate and decipher for me! In any case it minimises any apprehensions about what I may or may not say! And so it goes on.
Dinesh K Kapila
Now I do hope that this piece does not offend anyone, specially of the religious bent of mind. I have always been a rather straightforward guy, sometimes maybe reasonably blind even to subtle undercurrents and messaging practised by many. I have managed by I would say quite happily, though maybe being more clued into cultural messaging would have been better. For me life ideally is meant to be batted through by slogging, with a push and a shove to oneself if required and also to some others who need it. Add to it, read some, discuss some. have a small drink leisurely and listen to music and the days chug along. Not for me, beyond a point, an over analysis of who said what and to whom or why or who married whom or even discussing the deeper meaning of life. I do pray, am proud of my religion and culture but am not prone to diving deep into it for meaning.
But then the better half will always now and then just get exasperated and advise me to keep at it, watch it, keep clued in. I assure, I think I mean it, but then the normal state returns. On it's own. Some time back a neighbour's Jeeves, whom I had known for long and really respected, came over and in an absolutely emotional state, actually he was holding onto tears, said in Hindi, "Mata ji poore ho Gaye", mentally I was racing, deciphering and failing. My being clueless was evident. The poor guy looked at me, quite reasonably expecting a response. Me, I was on the verge of asking for more details when the better half walked in. One look at him and then one up to down scan of me, she asked him straightaway " bhaiya, what happened ". He repeated the statement made to me. I got the answer, " Aunty is no more", let's go over now ". As we walked over, I just had to keep saying, why could he just not say she is no more. Simple, clear and no ambiguity.
Just the other day, Shri VK Bedi, walked in. Now retired as General Manager, I took over from him and therefore sat in the same cabin where he was before. When I moved in , I did not make many changes, there was a what looked like to me a postcard size snap of tribal art under the glass top. I let it be after looking at it curiously. Well I and Mr Bedi exchanged greetings and talked a bit. He had always been a gracious guy and we had got along fine. I asked about his retired life and we chatted. Then he inquired about how much blessed I must feel about being blessed by "Bhagwan Jaganathji". I told him I always counted on the blessings of our Religious Icons and may it always be so. Bediji now stated that's fine but I left a snap of "Bhagwan Jaganathji" for you as I thought you would welcome it. I looked around quickly, after all these months here I knew the layout by heart, then I realised the snap placed below the glass top was of the" Blessed and Revered Jaganathji". Oops. Clueless once again, I decided better to acknowledge this state rather than bluff. Bediji was both amused and taken aback, that his precious gift had not even registered on me, I made amends quickly though. Now here again, if only he had told me then only, straight up !!
In any case I find tangential statements and stating X while aiming for Y can be quite exasperating. I prefer to play along and push it to the point of making the guy state it ! It saves time and efforts. Specially at the office. However the extended personal circle needs careful handling and can be a minefield. Not always but it can be. Rather than risk myself, there I would rather play the dutiful hubby, ever ready to let the better half negotiate and decipher for me! In any case it minimises any apprehensions about what I may or may not say! And so it goes on.
Dinesh K Kapila
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