Driving in The Greater Punjab.
This is not a short note on what was Punjab and what remains, all that is water under the bridge. But the sheer bliss of driving in my beloved region has to be shared. For this article I am taking Greater Punjab as Punjab. (Not Pakistan Punjab, not been there, not going there), Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Delhi (to some extent) and of course Chandigarh. On a strictly honorary basis, I am including Jammu & Kashmir since I worked there. Honorary as otherwise God Knows what some feverish soul may find offensive in it. Me, I am focusing on the driving part only. However I culturally found J&K guys quite the same on driving. Except the ability for some to shout for azadi when checked for documents !
I find something unique in Chandigarh the past few years. If coming from the right and you find a stop sign (red light), you do not lose time. As absolutely punctual Indians, as is our predominant trait, take the slip road on the left. Enter the next road, and swing in without any qualms about the confusion or possibility of an accident, now go past it straight to the next slip road on your right and you are back on the main road again having beaten the red light by a few, very few precious seconds.
This always makes me recollect many such day to day incidents and the sheer variety they encompass. I am trying to list them out as they come up in my hard drive. So it's not in any order. My list without any further thought is -
Who the hell are you - This attitude infects most, even the guy driving a mini car on the highways. It's our most attractive trait and generally the younger you are and the larger your car, the attitude is even more pronounced. Then the attitude in terms of negativity is equal to more than the attitude reserved for women by many here. And God Bless you if you are in a Volvo bus at night, you get to your destination alright but sometimes with weak knees.
My Dad is or I know so and so - This is so so common, I wonder what to say. The moment you are flagged over, tell the cop who your dad or uncle or cousin is. If not so lucky or pedigreed, then there is always x you know, who knows y, who knows so and so. As I blogged in another piece, once in a Main Street, on being hit from the rear by a rashly driven car, the young driver, with no sign of remorse, simply said so and so, a senior official is my father. And his mother, sitting next to him, refused to look at me. I had to sarcastically tell the cops are we here to compare pedigree to get things moving.
The arrogance of money - This has sadly filtered down to the young men. It does include some girls or ladies but the son is too precious and must have his way. Sad incidents fed by this mentality are always occurring but this tendency remains unchecked. Once I saw an expensive sedan brush past a mid priced sedan, what saddened me was the observation that what is the fuss, your car costs just a few Lakhs. This applies across all, a more expensive with a lesser expensive and so on.
Our Hill Drivers - Our plains men make for horrible drivers in the hills, scraping past culverts without much politeness. The drivers from the hills are unfailingly courteous in the hills but on reaching the plains, a transformation occurs. Perhaps the need not to keep moving the neck in both directions sets up a reaction and on reaching the plains, the guys just take off. Literally.
Blame it on the region - A Chandigarh kid will invariably say, that car which just zoomed past , surely the driver is not from tri-city. And in reverse the guys in districts say the Tri-city guys cannot drive in our cities. The fact is many are ill trained or not actually inclined to obey rules but this excuse works fine.
Ignore the traffic cop - This must be attempted while caught in a traffic jam. Twist your car into another lane, cause more confusion, keep moving even when advised to stop, even switching to driving in the opposite lane, it's all fair. It makes many who obey feel like idiots. And to think all this tearing hurry in a nation known to be laid back on its punctuality and productivity. Coming to traffic cops, it's a thankless job, but then the attitude and bribery or demands I have witnessed from drivers, specially from truckers are too many. These truckers even tell you which highways they avoid as the rate has gone up. But that's another story.
Cops look out only to senior cops or officers - I have driven a lot or been driven around a lot in my beloved region. In most traffic pile ups or jams on highways, the traffic guys and escorts create mayhem and further disruption in order to get the ‘sahib’ moving. The rest don't matter. The ‘sahib’ normally sits blandly looking into space. And don't look to the cops for help, one, they are already fed up, of all the heat, smoke, pollution and ill mannered drivers, second, they could not care normally. A few are polite and that always is a pleasant surprise. In any case the cop on the road on duty will always tell you that unless people drive with courtesy, and respect for life, life on the roads is always rather cumbersome.
Let's fight - This is par for the course. Let someone overtake you by cutting in fine, or a brush. First get out aggressively, then abuse generations and specially the mother and sister, then come closer and push around while the crowd watches. If someone interferes, abuse him too. Then if outnumbered go out and call for help as your masculinity, pedigree and ability to show your importance has been impacted. Sometimes it has resulted in serious injuries or deaths but the cultural brainwashing continues at home generally to raise such dolts. This is the saddest part, with no religious leader or political leader raising his voice on this.
Badly Designed Roads and multiple traffic - The media may highlight any number of roads as most dangerous or prone to accidents, but the realignment or precautions seldom occur. The toll keeps rising but the modification seldom occurs. And then our bane, influence. How come all new construction comes up along the highway but never on a cut diverting it along a T point to the highway. This just leads to traffic mismanagement and accidents and then a demand for flyovers. Then the multiplicity of traffic, its a sorry mess. And rural citizens crossing roads as though it was thirty years ago, it's actually comical were it not dangerous. The guy just gets moving without looking at you. And lastly the berms, why are they weak. It's all a slush post rains. Only the brave can pull over to them after rains.
The Brave Really Brave and ‘Bindass’ - This is for the sheer bravery exhibited by many real idiots (cars and two wheelers) in switching on headlights and driving on the opposite side of the road you are zipping along. It blinds you at night, it can cause an accident but this thought and consciousness just does not register. The ‘bindass’ guys can park anywhere, in our tri-city, it means cross a red light, pull over and come out of the cars and start chatting. It's too important to move away to a better spot or parking area. And if you can remain oblivious to the chaos caused while rubbing your large paunch, it's all for the better. On the highway it means stop on the road and stroll over to a joint for tea. And why even think a car can collide with the truck or vehicle so stupidly parked, well, that's that guys problem. And bus drivers can beat truckers in taking short cuts, to what purpose, beats me. But the risk only increases
All in all it's colourful, bizarre, crazy and keeps you alert and tired. Our roads have improved, widened and the pavements are strengthened but somehow the chaos does not go away. So happy driving and keep smiling.
Dinesh K KAPILA
.
This is not a short note on what was Punjab and what remains, all that is water under the bridge. But the sheer bliss of driving in my beloved region has to be shared. For this article I am taking Greater Punjab as Punjab. (Not Pakistan Punjab, not been there, not going there), Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Delhi (to some extent) and of course Chandigarh. On a strictly honorary basis, I am including Jammu & Kashmir since I worked there. Honorary as otherwise God Knows what some feverish soul may find offensive in it. Me, I am focusing on the driving part only. However I culturally found J&K guys quite the same on driving. Except the ability for some to shout for azadi when checked for documents !
I find something unique in Chandigarh the past few years. If coming from the right and you find a stop sign (red light), you do not lose time. As absolutely punctual Indians, as is our predominant trait, take the slip road on the left. Enter the next road, and swing in without any qualms about the confusion or possibility of an accident, now go past it straight to the next slip road on your right and you are back on the main road again having beaten the red light by a few, very few precious seconds.
This always makes me recollect many such day to day incidents and the sheer variety they encompass. I am trying to list them out as they come up in my hard drive. So it's not in any order. My list without any further thought is -
Who the hell are you - This attitude infects most, even the guy driving a mini car on the highways. It's our most attractive trait and generally the younger you are and the larger your car, the attitude is even more pronounced. Then the attitude in terms of negativity is equal to more than the attitude reserved for women by many here. And God Bless you if you are in a Volvo bus at night, you get to your destination alright but sometimes with weak knees.
My Dad is or I know so and so - This is so so common, I wonder what to say. The moment you are flagged over, tell the cop who your dad or uncle or cousin is. If not so lucky or pedigreed, then there is always x you know, who knows y, who knows so and so. As I blogged in another piece, once in a Main Street, on being hit from the rear by a rashly driven car, the young driver, with no sign of remorse, simply said so and so, a senior official is my father. And his mother, sitting next to him, refused to look at me. I had to sarcastically tell the cops are we here to compare pedigree to get things moving.
The arrogance of money - This has sadly filtered down to the young men. It does include some girls or ladies but the son is too precious and must have his way. Sad incidents fed by this mentality are always occurring but this tendency remains unchecked. Once I saw an expensive sedan brush past a mid priced sedan, what saddened me was the observation that what is the fuss, your car costs just a few Lakhs. This applies across all, a more expensive with a lesser expensive and so on.
Our Hill Drivers - Our plains men make for horrible drivers in the hills, scraping past culverts without much politeness. The drivers from the hills are unfailingly courteous in the hills but on reaching the plains, a transformation occurs. Perhaps the need not to keep moving the neck in both directions sets up a reaction and on reaching the plains, the guys just take off. Literally.
Blame it on the region - A Chandigarh kid will invariably say, that car which just zoomed past , surely the driver is not from tri-city. And in reverse the guys in districts say the Tri-city guys cannot drive in our cities. The fact is many are ill trained or not actually inclined to obey rules but this excuse works fine.
Ignore the traffic cop - This must be attempted while caught in a traffic jam. Twist your car into another lane, cause more confusion, keep moving even when advised to stop, even switching to driving in the opposite lane, it's all fair. It makes many who obey feel like idiots. And to think all this tearing hurry in a nation known to be laid back on its punctuality and productivity. Coming to traffic cops, it's a thankless job, but then the attitude and bribery or demands I have witnessed from drivers, specially from truckers are too many. These truckers even tell you which highways they avoid as the rate has gone up. But that's another story.
Cops look out only to senior cops or officers - I have driven a lot or been driven around a lot in my beloved region. In most traffic pile ups or jams on highways, the traffic guys and escorts create mayhem and further disruption in order to get the ‘sahib’ moving. The rest don't matter. The ‘sahib’ normally sits blandly looking into space. And don't look to the cops for help, one, they are already fed up, of all the heat, smoke, pollution and ill mannered drivers, second, they could not care normally. A few are polite and that always is a pleasant surprise. In any case the cop on the road on duty will always tell you that unless people drive with courtesy, and respect for life, life on the roads is always rather cumbersome.
Let's fight - This is par for the course. Let someone overtake you by cutting in fine, or a brush. First get out aggressively, then abuse generations and specially the mother and sister, then come closer and push around while the crowd watches. If someone interferes, abuse him too. Then if outnumbered go out and call for help as your masculinity, pedigree and ability to show your importance has been impacted. Sometimes it has resulted in serious injuries or deaths but the cultural brainwashing continues at home generally to raise such dolts. This is the saddest part, with no religious leader or political leader raising his voice on this.
Badly Designed Roads and multiple traffic - The media may highlight any number of roads as most dangerous or prone to accidents, but the realignment or precautions seldom occur. The toll keeps rising but the modification seldom occurs. And then our bane, influence. How come all new construction comes up along the highway but never on a cut diverting it along a T point to the highway. This just leads to traffic mismanagement and accidents and then a demand for flyovers. Then the multiplicity of traffic, its a sorry mess. And rural citizens crossing roads as though it was thirty years ago, it's actually comical were it not dangerous. The guy just gets moving without looking at you. And lastly the berms, why are they weak. It's all a slush post rains. Only the brave can pull over to them after rains.
The Brave Really Brave and ‘Bindass’ - This is for the sheer bravery exhibited by many real idiots (cars and two wheelers) in switching on headlights and driving on the opposite side of the road you are zipping along. It blinds you at night, it can cause an accident but this thought and consciousness just does not register. The ‘bindass’ guys can park anywhere, in our tri-city, it means cross a red light, pull over and come out of the cars and start chatting. It's too important to move away to a better spot or parking area. And if you can remain oblivious to the chaos caused while rubbing your large paunch, it's all for the better. On the highway it means stop on the road and stroll over to a joint for tea. And why even think a car can collide with the truck or vehicle so stupidly parked, well, that's that guys problem. And bus drivers can beat truckers in taking short cuts, to what purpose, beats me. But the risk only increases
All in all it's colourful, bizarre, crazy and keeps you alert and tired. Our roads have improved, widened and the pavements are strengthened but somehow the chaos does not go away. So happy driving and keep smiling.
Dinesh K KAPILA
.
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