Let the youngsters be Love or whatever it is.

 Let the youngsters be Love or whatever it is.

Dinesh K Kapila

 

Well, the thought springs  from a message. A person I know messaged in a matter of fact manner thar many a times young college girls and boys seem to be sitting in the parks in our city (we have plenty in our city) and wanted that it should be curbed. Then someone else once messaged on these lines and that if I could join a campaign. Then as we discussed the point got stretched to our culture when I could only say, remember your youth, we too were young once, let it be. Then later in life we were young at heart too, maybe many of us still are, acknowledge it, else we would have led rather dry lives.

 

Talking of love, or maybe just companionship cum friendship, it knows no barriers of time, age, space or community. Specifically, as regards love, I am not talking of blind love here but love per se. A fifty year old man went to the head of a religious order, he said I have never been married, never been in love, I now think it is time for me to be a monk and to join your order. The wise elderly Guruji heading the ashram told him, very well, you are welcome. But there is no going back from here. That life and world is done for. Think it over. The fifty year thought about it, walked about a bit and told the Guruji, maybe there really is somebody out there suitable for me. Maybe just a friend. Let me explore some more. He  was optimistic about life and love, that is what it is at times, an optimism, about what life could hold and companionship too.     

 

Words like culture, cultural norms, disturbance, nuisance, spoiling the atmosphere abound freely at times. I honestly do not know where it comes from. We carry our own notions and interpretations in our mind and then let it out. Just watch our older songs, specially, “Abhi na jao chodd kar, ki dil abhi bhara nahin”, (Please don’t just go away, my heart dearly wants you near me) or when he sings “abhi utha hun neend sai, tumhara khwab dekh ke, abhi tum ek khwab ho, main choo kar tumko dekh lun, ke sach main mere pass ho”, (I just am waking up languidly, you are still just a dream to me, may I ever so lightly caress you again, just to  feel you are still near me). This song has captivated millions. I have seen guys close their eyes at the sheer beauty of the words, the vivid imagery  and the shimmering innocence of the lovers. Its gentle and speaks of a time when the young just yearned but learnt to move on.

 

Precisely it is this era, allowed to maybe yearn but not to be, which could maybe colour perceptions today. Those denied then or so constrained seem maybe to be in the forefront of such protestations. There is a quite vehemence about it at times which does surprise. As long as the youngsters are sitting, bantering, talking or maybe just maybe cuddling a bit: well shoot off a glance if you will and pass by. Their youth will not return and neither will this time in their lives. It applied to us, it applies to them. Many will move back to more cloistered environments after graduating or after a few years. I draw the line at drinking  and driving or false bravado, that is not the point, but let them enjoy the lightness of this time in their lives.  Many are going through what would be an infatuation or puppy love and would soon tire of it. And for most, it is just a get together, a chat, a moment in time if you will. That is all.

 

The folklore of our region as regards lovers and youngsters is also legendary, its culturally deep now, songs were and are composed about them. It resonates deeply within us. They loved deeply, they devised various stratagems to meet, yet those out to wreck it always conspired successfully. Lovers are doomed to die is the messaging. We can learn this from Heer Ranjha, Mirza Sahibaan, Sassui Punnhun, which are so popular in the Greater Punjab and a few more in Sind of yore. This does seem to have coloured perceptions and attitudes, all across the centuries. The scholars may view it from the prism of religion or community relations, but the unified messaging is, lovers are cursed by fate to be separated, or at worse, to even die.

 

Another aspect is unrequited love, you love even if its not reciprocated or the other  person may not even know. Poets raised this to supreme moments of lovelorn ecstasy and yearning and wasting away and even mourning if you will. That epoch and culture still finds an echo within us, at Khap Panchayats passing resolutions, the protestations on smartphones and the like, the harking back to the good old times even in the cities and at times an insistence to drive the youngsters from the parks. The genie is not going back into the lamp if you will, but the struggle is on. That manifests itself in the move to cities, mostly the metros, or a thought for the same, specially by girls.  Poetry about unrequited love is a mood maker at many parties, get togethers  and drinking sessions, well, the younger generation does not really agree, that is a fact.

 

Our society is in a flux, community affiliations and cultural ties are strong and tighten as we go into the traditional urban settlements or the smaller cities and then bind youngsters ever so tightly in the smaller settlements.  Perhaps urbanization holds the key to driving in more openness. Youngsters seem to convey this ever so clearly, it is for us to understand this.

 

Leaving it all, the discussion or issues as above, if a young couple is out on a stroll or for a cup of coffee, let them be. Let them be happy, excited, even at times oblivious to others nearby. Nevil Shute described it best years ago in a novel. He writes effortlessly, simply, but this song is not his composition.  It is Berkley Square.

That certain night,

The night we met,

There was magic abroad in the air,

There were angels dining at the Ritz,

And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

I may be right, I may be wrong,

But I'm perfectly willing to swear,

That when you turned and smiled at me,

A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

The moon that lingered over London town,

Poor puzzled moon, wore such a frown,

How could he know we two were so in love,

The whole darn world seemed upside down.

 

Think if this, the sheer lightness and the happiness of it. What it is all about. Why deny it. There will be aberrations and concerns too, as many of the youth are not conditioned on how to handle it or go about it. But that is not to decry it or to block it. In any case it will not happen. The era of unrequited love, then carrying some false picture out of it and composing sad lovelorn poetry out of it and then venting the frustrations on some youngsters is really not in consonance with this era.    

 

Then there is age. There is a memory. As it goes, a friend told me that he and his university days crush once went to the same university coffee centre --after almost forty years-- overlooking the same lush green surroundings. They say quietly, mentally recollecting the days. With a sigh and sad eyes, she rued, "the surroundings are no longer green and enchanting, see?" And the guy looks around, thinks quietly and says softly, "Ask the students! That boy and the girl there. They find the place and surroundings magical and mesmerizing! Our eyes have dimmed; our hearts have dried. Don't blame the place or the surroundings”. Her eyes lit up! She smiled and held his hand. They were for the moment, forty years younger again! We forget this. As we age.

 

As I said to a friend, if the youngsters are not causing any nuisance while sitting around then why  trouble them ! Its often just youngsters enjoying themselves ! To most its just a feel of the excitement and a moving on to the serious part of life which awaits them. And it would be safe to assume many who do oppose may never have sat in a park while in college. As I said earlier, to most it is just a passing phase as they move along in life. Let it be.

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Then they say how do you hear !! Well tell people to be discreet. I am walking to the market past a small neighbourhood park, minding my business and engrossed in my thoughts. On something to write. Now There is a good looking well dressed lady, maybe forty years old, sitting on a bench talking away loudly ! Laughing away. I am going past her, you know you just look for an instant and look away. It’s just that., and I hear clearly as she says’Sardiyan Bahut hi change hain !! Main gori ho handi han Aur hot Bhi sundar lagdi han’!. IN English - I really love winters. I become fairer and look even more beautiful! Now what am I to do !! The brain has registered this delightful gem !!

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