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Buttering the Boss

 Buttering the Boss - Chamchagiri - It’s an art

A friend after reading the earlier post said we should relate more such episodes. The first one went this way - a Boss took his team to a lake. Then he took a stone and threw it along the surf at but instead of bouncing it simply sank. The Boss asked his team out the reason. Most said the stone was heavy. The Boss expected a more technical answer. Then he looked at the guy watching him as always with open admiration and the guy said - the only lesson I drew and the reason is simply that whoever gave up his relationship with you only lost like the stone here just sank. That is the only lesson. The Boss was floored. Such people as cynics say progress in life.
Now going forward with more stories. I was at the farewell of a senior officer. This officer was known for his skill with words and his inherent ability - totally ingrained- to just butter up his boss, who ever it would be. Even his eyes, body language and the face would be like a puppy before his master. Even after reaching a senior level himself. Now he had been transferred and the local head was presiding. All made the ritual noises and so did the head of office. Then started our guy. And he praised the local head of office for his professional acumen, task orientation, achievement of targets and just went on and on. He would not stop. Initially the local head of office smiled, then got a bit uncomfortable and final had to say - xxxxxxJi, I do hope you know and remember that today it’s your farewell and not mine !! I mean it was so difficult to just look straight without smiling!
Then there was a flight I was on with a senior officer. We both had briefcases in the cabin luggage and hence I presumed he would carry his briefcase while I would carry mine. At Delhi airport we ran into another senior officer whose accompanying officer was one rank senior to me. He was not only carrying his own bag but also the large bag of his boss plus a rather thick file folder. And sweating away. This guys senior officer looked at my boss and then at me and said how come both of you are carrying your own stuff. Look at my guy (the guy smiles and nods while sweating away). My boss just smiled and said let’s walk. No said the other senior officer, turned to me and said seriously that don’t you want to rise a bit easily, look at your senior colleague, learn something!! And the guy carrying the briefcases seriously says when we reach our destination I will teach him the way !! I just did not know what to say !!
One thing I learnt though, most bosses know what’s going on but generally they like it and do extend a degree of shelter to the guy who can butter them up - even if it’s blatant and not even done smoothly. Smoothly done, its a charm at times certainly !!   
I was tested once. We had a guy who would work very less but would always have a favour to seek for leaving early, coming late or some such thing. He would first keep standby even if asked to sit down. Then sit after being told again as though he had been blessed for this favour. And then start by praising me that I was so dynamic but also so fatherly (hardly 10-12 years younger than me) and went on. The first time he said I did discount a bit of it but felt a bit puffed up ! Then walked in our head of HR and being a straightforward person simply told me she did not like the guy as he was too sweet with his words and always started by praising her for her sense of duty. She wanted to let me know her reading of the guy. I kept a straight face and calmly said ok fine I will remember this but do remember the sense of being just a little puffed up simply went away with the speed of lightning!!!
There was another guy I know. Fixing the metre, finding the right furniture and the like, even a better cook for a function, specially for the senior officers, - well he knew it all. Except his work. There he would put in the minimum possible and say this is all I know. Absolute straight faced. If I had to corner him really hard many a time. To get some work done at least. Another was most interesting; he worshipped a certain Saint. Every time he was pulled up for too much leave out would come the Prasad and the submission it was from the Main temple and that he had prayed for the guy concerned. One day he shared his secrets with me while sort of challenging me too. He said I do buy the Prasad at times from the local market but let me assure you that I am not going to be hauled up for whatever you guys try to pin on me !!!
And that is the way it is!!!

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